JIMMY'S MAGIC SLICE

If you’re a cool cat on the go, whether you have a million kids, or if you have two full time jobs, or if you are merely one of those people who has lost your marbles (like me) then you will cherish this quick magical recipe.

My beloved sister’s boyfriend introduced it to me and at first I was like, “wah, whatchu talkin about Willis?!”. However, in reality, it is super fast, relatively inexpensive and absolutely nom-worthy. Furthermore, I was feeling festive over the Christmas period (okay it was February, I was a little late) so I decided to send cute packages to my friends. They were really well received by most - other than one of my friends who was like, “Sasha, thanks so much for the weird muffin!”

Ingredients:

200 g butter (softened)
1 C sugar
1 egg
1 tsp of vanilla essence
2 C of flour
2 tsp baking powder
2 C raspberries (frozen will suffice. They’re regularly on sale. I’ve also used strawberres and blueberries.)
½ C white chocolate buttons

Pre-heat that dubious and unreliable flat oven of yours to 180 degrees Celsius proving that it has a function other than acting as a DIY heater. (Takes me back to the days when I was a poor boozed and cold student studying in Dunedin, but I digress). Line a slice tin with baking paper to avoid sticking - losing precious slice to a tin is one of the worst crimes against humanity.

Meanwhile, cream the butter and sugar, add the vanilla, flour and finally baking powder. While sifting the flour is ideal, cool cats on the go aint got no time fo’ sifting, unless they’re in a clurrb. AmIright?

Press two thirds of the mixed into the tin. Spoon/sprinkle the raspberries over the mixture, the chocolate buttons thereafter. Put the remaining mixture over the raspberries/chocolate. Bung the dish into the oven for 35-40 minutes or until golden. Done.

CHORIZO HASH

Following my fleeting (and traumatic) dieting experience, I thought “hells bells” I’m going to make an amazing dish that 1) is delicious 2) I can eat heaps and heaps and heaps of it, and 3) is moderately if not slightly healthy - akin to muesli bars, which, I have come to realise, are actually glorified chocolate bars. 

So, for all of you plebeians who wish to impress but who actually only purchase REAL LIFE VANILLA BEAN PODS because you are told you should (don’t do it, it’s criminally expensive) here is the recipe for you: 

Chorizo Hash with Poached Eggs

Ingredients: 

Root vegetables to roast of many kinds and use your imagination - kumara, potato, carrot, pumpkin (is this a route vegetable), onion, garlic, beetroot (adds to the colour). 

Chorizo - the oh la la factor - really, it’s just a fancy salami, but oh so impressive. 

Baby spinach

Feta

Eggs (two eggs per person, methinks, the more PROTEIN the better). 

Dice the vegetables and biff them into a roasting dish. Swamp them in olive oil. Add salt and herbs you have lying around. I am very partial towards dill, oregano and rosemary. I absolutely loathe and detest coriander and parsley for some reason. I’ve been told it’s hereditary. Apologies for the digression. 

Grab that chorizo - not to worry if it hasn’t been pre-cooked. In fact, I would prefer it because you are wanting the fatty juices to smother the roasted vegetables. So, slice the chorizo and place said slices over diced vegetables. Biff the entire dish in a pre heated oven and at 200 degrees Celsius, cook for 30 minutes. If it fails to cook, grill those puppies. The crispier, the better, I say.

Meanwhile, if you are devoid of having the capability of poaching eggs like myself, may I suggest this:

Fill a bowl with boiling water. Crack two eggs into said bowl (may I suggest you try your hand in doing so whimsically, at least for a laugh). Bung the above into a microwave and put on high heat for 50 seconds. The amount of time may differ according to the microwave. Beware, the eggs can explode if you are not careful. Discard water from said bowl. 

Once the roasted vegetables are out of the oven, serve the vegetables onto plates. Add some spinach and diced feta. Plonk yo’ eggs on top and done. Perfect for instagram.

IT'S BEEN A WHILE

It’s been a good bloody while since I’ve blogged on “doily darlings”. In the meantime I moved to Nelson, started working for the daily newspaper, the Nelson Mail and took up the role of emergency services, court and police reporter. 

I have been trying to get a food blog off the ground in that neck of the woods but the current title, “Keyboard Nibbles” is just not really doing it for me. I have otherwise been writing restaurant reviews for the Nelson Mail’s lifestyle magazine, Admire, http://www.admiremagazine.co.nz/ Branding aye? Isn't it vulgar and insufferable? Albeit, having a performance background, I will have to admit I do revel in all things audacious + tap-dancing related. It’s no good. 

It must be made abundantly clear that I am not a cook. In fact, as my cooking ers on the side of burnt, one could say I am the poorest of cooks but I would love to think it is due to the fact that I have a very tumultuous relationship with my stove top and if I had a scanpan or kitchenaid appliances then my life and the quality of my cooking would compare to Julia Child. I would love to think that my baking is a little better and I think there is nothing lovelier than to greet friends with a little baked surprise that you produce from your purse. 

So without further ado, here is my favourite go-to recipe - the Yo Yo.

Ingredients: 

185 grams of butter
⅓ C icing sugar
⅓ C custard powder
1 1/2C plain flour
Dash of vanilla essence (if you revel in vanilla)

Icing:

½ C icing sugar
2 T of butter
2 tsp of custard powder
½ tsp of vanilla
Dash of food colouring (pink, methinks)

Leave the butter out while you go work like a dog. Once you come home and the butter is soft, cream the butter. Mix in the icing sugar and custard powder. Add the plain flour and a dash (I would add about a teaspoon) of vanilla for good measure. 

Roll the mixture into balls and place on a tray. Press the said balls ever so slightly with a fork. Pop into an moderately heated oven (about 180 degrees Celsius) for about 10-15 minutes. Leave out to cool. 

Meanwhile, mix the icing ingredients together and once the biscuits have cooled, sandwich (giant) dollops of icing between two cookies. Delicious!